💝 February

Fast: direction in my life right now; my “why”

Of course being the wife Mike needs and being the attentive and intentional Mom the boys need is right there, but I need fulfillment and an outlet elsewhere as well. Like when I had my Primary calling. Ideas: book for posterity, journaling, family history; somehow expanding my sphere of influence. 

Living the gospel isn’t always easy, but it’ll make you happy. 

By choosing to be in His kingdom, we separate--not isolate--ourselves from the world. We will choose friends who encourage our eternal goals, and we will treat others with kindness. Our Sunday activities will reflect the commandment of God to remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. We will follow the example of Jesus Christ in the way we treat others. We will live to be worthy to enter the house of the Lord. -Hales

Keeping thoughts/Our focus must be riveted on the Savior and His gospel. It is mentally rigorous to strive to look unto Him in every thought. -Nelson

Remember: Noelle, a 9 year old at the ward we visited came up to our family and said: are you visiting? Would you like me to help you get to your classes?

Experienced the gathering of Israel at the ward today, with members from: India, the UK, Puerto Rico, Mexico, visitors from Canada, etc. 

• I can’t bless you if you don’t keep my Commandments.  (While at Disney Springs on Sunday)

Let’s list 5 “happies.” -Mom (I’m happy that...)

“I’m happy that Heavenly Father answers my prayers.” -Andrew

“Everyone needs a Daniel in their lives.” -Mom

(The things I value & appreciate most come naturally to him:  tidy & organized, impeccable time management, personal hygiene, aware of the needs around him, understanding and patient teacher, the need to cuddle, empathetic, happy)

Everyone needs an Andrew as well. He is me. Fighter, sensitive, hard to understand, let alone express feelings, physical and needs to work out energy, super smart, unsure of the people around him, guarded, inconsistently social, adorable, affectionate. 

Amulek’s life was no longer comfortable, but he was comforted. -Mawlam 

“Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can.” ETB

• Pray day & cuddle night 

“Early on I realized it would be better if we worked harder to get used to each other than constantly try to change each other.” -M. Hinckley 

Bishop Brown 

Love: putting our wants and desires in the back burner; the ability to put someone else first in your lives. Compels is to do things we otherwise wouldn’t do. Making their wants and wishes a priority in my life. 

Times I felt love in my childhood:

Tammy’s letter to me. 

Dad buying Penny the pony for me. 

HF’s love when I was praying; pleading 

How does complete love motivate an individual?

I knew HF lived. I saw evidence of it. I never questioned it. But, when I FELT HF’s love for me, even when I didn’t feel worthy of it, my life was changed. 

To love is greater than to be loved. 

He increases our capacity to love. His love can overcome all. 

“Everything will always work out in the end, and if it has not, then it's not the end” Brown

It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is.

It all works out. Don’t worry.

I say that to myself every morning.

It will all work out.

Put your trust in God,

and move forward with faith

and confidence in the future.

The Lord will not forsake us.

He will not forsake us.

If we will put our trust in Him,

if we will pray to Him,

if we will live worthy of His blessings,

He will hear our prayers. Hinckley 

Anderson 

Somehow the Savior never felt inconvenienced to serve, teach, and strengthen faith.

How to teach children to receive personal revelation; to increase personal conversion. 

Service: It’s not always easy, neat, convenient, or what you expect. 

“When you meet someone, treat them as if they were in serious trouble, and you will be right more than half the time.” -Eyring

Purpose of any Church mtg: Increased testimony and/or desire to follow our Savior. 

It’s okay to be troubled, that’s part of the experience. Just not distressed. 2 Cor

Are we and our children converted to the Church or to our Savior?

Fackrell:

Life is really about the gospel and sharing memories with one another. Showing up in a meaningful way is the spice of life. 

The Lord blesses us, he gives us more than we need, and then we share it. 

The miracle comes from what she offers (widow and Elisha)

The pattern is:

1st I’m going to give (sacrifice) you what (all) I have. 

2nd then the Lord blesses us/performs the miracle. 

3rd He gives us more than we need so that we can share with others. 

How do you turn to each other and stay connected during hard times?

• honor differences/ each other’s needs

2ne 31:21 “We is one.”

Joint decision making:

Ask: identity the problem 

Brainstorm: identity solution 

Choose: talk about solutions 

Do: the plan

Examine:

Self-control:

What thoughts you actually let stay in your mind. Intra-communication.

“How did we get in the right line in heaven?” Tamara 

Top 10 things that create unity in our Marriage:

-Going through hard times (cleaning up throw up in the middle of the night, pregnancy, struggles the boys face, job loss, Bitcoin, stress, depression)

-Sharing raw fears, worries, doubts, and concerns. Showing up when needed. 

-Spiritual experiences, seeing prayers answered and/or miracles in our lives (ex: island lake). 

-Challenging circumstances (rain, snow, sleet, and hail on Island Lake).

-Traveling together, both as a couple and as a family (Utah National parks; Royal cruise).

-Serving others together; making sacrifices for the well-being of others. Caring for our parents. 

-Fasting and praying for a common goal, question, worry, person. 

-date nights planning trips and vacations. 

-Planned adventures to Europe. 

-Setting and working towards common goals. 

-Intimacy; making love. 

-Serving him in meaningful ways that count (laundry, planning a date, finding a sitter, reaching out to his parents; initiating going to or watching a movie, initiating and/or cheerfully approaching intimacy).

-Spending time together in nature. Camping, hiking, diving, snowshoeing, skiing). 

-Socializing with other couples; group dates or outings.

-Sharing thoughts and insights, especially gospel related. Bouncing off ideas. “Companion study/ discussions).

“I’ve had to evict some thoughts a hundred times before they would stay out. I have never been successful until I have put something edifying in their place.

I do not want my mind to be a dumping place for shabby ideas or thoughts, for disappointments, bitterness, envy, shame, hatred, worry, grief, or jealousy.

If you are fretting over such things, it’s time to clean the yard. Get rid of all that junk! Get rid of it!

Put up a “no trespassing” sign, a “no dumping” sign, and take control of yourself. Don’t keep anything that will not edify you.” -Packer

• HF not only pushes us beyond our comforts, but sometimes too, beyond our capabilities and to the point of having to rely on other people as well. (Absolutely knowing that it was time to have another, yet having to be on bed rest; the mom that receives revelation to gonna k to school or work, at the expense of her family and neighbors). Don’t expect help, but be willing to ask for it. 
• Life is the only test I know of that is open book, open partner, open collaboration, open note, etc. this is a test we aren’t meant to take alone. 
• Sometimes heavenly father gives us things that are bigger than we can handle on our own. We have to rely on the patients, mercy, help, and non-judgment of those around us. Julie Hoffmann and Alex Roberson are to such moms I can show such love, acceptance, and patience. 
• Help us to teach our children to take ownership and responsibility over that which will be required of them as mature adults. 

Before you get what you want, you have to know what you want. Figure out your why. Your vision. 

I’m overeating/ stress eating. Why? What is my life lacking? Why am I off kilter?

-I need to make time for thinking and journaling. For writing stories and insights to help strengthen my posterity. 

-I need to slow down and be mindful with volunteering hours away at the school. 

-Maybe my schedule isn’t quite ready for weekly temple. Maybe 2x a month is more appropriate (1 Mike & 1 Self)

-I was really enjoying my scripture study. I’d like to pick up where I left off in December. 

-I love to create and would like to work on creating some more blurbs. 

-Maybe spend some time meditating and in prayer; I enjoy walks and hikes in connection with that. 

-Relax. Baths. Essential oils. Sun. Sunrises. Sunsets. Nature. Rocks. Streams. Hikes. Trees. 

• 6:30 wake up; 6:45 scripture; 7 Anytime; 8:15 shower & eat; 8:40 carpool; 9-12 write, read, create, organize, meditate; outdoors. 

Health

Body: eat well, sleep, stay warm, wash hands, don’t stress.

Mind: think we’ll, read, outdoors, alone time, don’t stew. 

Spirit: pray, scriptures, journal, temple, serve. 

Social: dates, family, friends, smile, play. 

If only we kept the plan of salvation in the forefront of our mind. 

Access the power of Christ through faith, hope, and ordinances. 

“Being born again, unlike our physical birth, is more a process than an event. And engaging in that process is the central purpose of mortality.” - Christofferson 

Isn’t it wonderful that we have the access to the power of the Savior in our fears, weaknesses, losses, etc. If He has the power to change water to wine, He has the power to change us. Believe in that change. Hope for that change. 

Failure and sin are part of success and of being born again. 

As you set your boundaries, if it rubs them the wrong way, it’s on them not you. At that point it doesn’t matter. 

Water to wine. The faith that Mary had and her son. She didn’t doubt him. Do I believe in my sons?

Woman at the well, gradually Gaines testimony and recognition of the Savior. It doesn’t all happen at once. 

Joy D. Jones

“Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.” D&C 6:36

“Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other.”

After all, isn’t repenting going from darkness into light?

One of the great ironies in life is this: The one precious thing that Heavenly Father will never take from us is our agency—the very thing that we give away so freely to others. Letting others influence our decisions through their behavior can weaken our ability to use our agency correctly. In fact, it can happen so frequently that we are not even aware of what we are forfeiting.

An enticement can come in the form of temptation—which can lead us to doubt, fear, anger, and ultimately the loss of the Spirit. Or an enticement can come through happiness and blessings as encouragement to do good—which can lead us to understanding, confidence, fulfillment, and “the fruit of the Spirit.”

“If men, by taking a wrong course, act imprudently and seek to injure us, shall we seek to injure them? No, we will try to do them all the good we can. “But that is not natural.” But then we ought to be changed from nature to grace. . . .

. . . If there be trouble existing between me and anybody else, I would meet them halfway, yes, I would meet them three-quarters or even all of the way. I would feel like yielding; I would say, I do not want to quarrel, I want to be a Saint. I have set out for purity, virtue, brotherhood, and for obedience to the laws of God on earth, and for thrones and principalities and dominions in the eternal worlds, and I will not allow such paltry affairs to interfere with my prospects. I am for life, eternal lives and eternal exaltations in the kingdom of God.” John Taylor

As for the perils which I am called to pass through, they seem but a small thing to me. . . . But nevertheless, deep water is what I am wont to swim in. It all has become a second nature to me; and I feel, like Paul, to glory in tribulation. Joseph Smith

It is what we do with those enticements that prepares us for the adversities that come in our lives. Enticements are the practice round for when the great adversities come. Joy D Jones 

Jesus answered, Thou couldest have no power at all against me, except it were given thee from above.

Jesus calmly reminded Pilate who was really in control of the situation. He looked to His Father in every thought. He didn’t doubt. He didn’t fear.

Therefore, how can you and I really expect to glide naively through life, as if to say, “Lord, give me experience, but not grief, not sorrow, not pain, not opposition, not betrayal, and certainly not to be forsaken. Keep from me, Lord, all those experiences which made Thee what Thou art! Then let me come and dwell with Thee and fully share Thy joy!”42

We can rejoice with each adversity, even the smallest one, because we can use each one to help us remain spiritually focused upon the glory that is yet to come! Maxwell

When [God] is calling us to pass through that which we call afflictions, trials, temptations, and difficulties, did we possess the light of the Spirit, we would consider this the greatest blessing that could be bestowed upon us. Brigham Young 

• Trust that Heavenly Father won’t give me, or any of my loved ones, anything that’s too hard for us to handle. 
• Connect with the boys on their level and in a way that matters to THEM. 

“Oooh, I love this verse! I like how he didn’t summon an angel, instead he said to look around because there is proof of God all around us.” -James (Alma 30:44)

“Along with the bright colors of happiness and joy, the darker-colored threads of trial and tragedy are woven deeply into the fabric of our Father’s plan. These struggles, although difficult, often become our greatest teachers.”

Pain is part of the plan. “God did not create our spirits to be independent of Him.” 

Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal. 

Repentance is powerful spiritual medicine. Disappointment comes on occasion, but it’s never allowed to stay. 

Anderson, “Wounded”

Communication:

Ask

Brainstorm 

Choose

Do 

Examine

What you think about your Marriage (or anything) is more important than it actually is. 

Disclose/ share secret self. 

• Give thanks for EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. 
• Sometimes I have to remember that what Mike and are giving our kids is a whole heck of a lot more than either of us got as kids. Social skills, we have friends, a comfortable and inviting home, and we love each other. It might not be what we’d like, but it’s the best that we’ve got to give... Instead of getting hard on myself sometimes I just have to remind myself that I’m doing the best I can.
• Opening the present/wrapped package of each boy involves the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s all encompassing and that includes unwrapping their individual challenges, heartaches, and personalized trials. I can take those away from them and I can’t take ownership of them. Those hand-selected problems are theirs, from parents who k ow them better than us. 
• James is having a rough time and I’m realizing that 1) I can’t take these problems from him, 2) there’s no simple fix, and 3) these struggles, if approached appropriately, are exactly what he needs to feel his HF’s love for him. His heart is literal and it is distant. It’s going to take some chiseling to get him to open up to His love. To connect and to rely upon. 
• Be grateful for the challenge and find both beauty and miracles in the process. 
• Know that things will get better. He’ll overcome these weaknesses. This is a phase & it’s not him forever. what a bright and happy future James has in store for him. 

JOY

J- Jesus: seek him, try to be like him, and serve him. 

O- Others serve his children, be forgiving, and live the golden rule. 

Y- Yourself (as we serve God & others, we become better versions of ourselves. We become more kind, more charitable, and like Him. 

While we can love God and learn of him, the only way we can serve him is by serving others. Steve Davis

“You didn’t ‘lose’ your testimony. You just didn’t nourish it.

Our Heavenly Parents, our Savior, and the Holy Ghost love us and believe we can make it. (I’ve never thought about the Holy Ghost loving me). Because they love us, they have both given you and me the tools to succeed. We know God is committed to the plan and we must be too.

Please record your experiences so you can review them often.” -Saunders, BYUI

If I didn’t feel pain. I also wouldn’t feel appreciation. 

• Our boys are strong. They are special spirits. They’re given challenges that are tough and that can make them tough. 

There is something undeniably special about this generation of youth. Your Heavenly Father must have great confidence in you to send you to earth at this time. You were born for greatness! The days ahead will be breathtaking. Father in Heaven must have known that you would be just the people He needs to do remarkable things in the latter days—the days leading up to the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. -Nelson

The fact that you are here on earth at this stage of its history is a compliment to you and your potential...

Your eternal destiny will depend in large part on your ability to receive, recognize, and respond to revelation...

Let me first assure you that none of us is spiritually tone deaf. Because all of us are literal spirit children of perfect Heavenly Parents, each of us has the innate potential to receive and recognize revelation...

So take heart. You are likely doing better than you think. I urge you in that regard to take some time in the coming weeks to ponder and reflect on times when you may have received revelation and on times when you were influenced by the Holy Ghost and you may not have fully recognized it. Then I would urge you to record those events. This will not only make you more aware of inspired messages that you have received but will increase your confidence that you can receive further revelation.

 -Worthen, BYU ‘18

In coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost...

If we are to have any hope of sifting through the myriad of voices and the philosophies of men that attack truth, we must learn to receive revelation...

My beloved brothers and sisters, I plead with you to increase your spiritual capacity to receive revelation. . . . Choose to do the spiritual work required to enjoy the gift of the Holy Ghost and hear the voice of the Spirit more frequently and more clearly. -Nelson

It is the privilege of the children of God to come to God and get revelation. . . . God is not a respecter of persons; we all have the same privilege. Joseph Smith 

• How do I view people? For the most part, I’m scared of them. I desire to help and serve them but I like to keep my safe & secure distance. 
• How do I overcome my fear of people? How do I change my feelings to curiosity?
• I wonder if being gay is like depression. I struggle with depression, some with over-spending, some with addictions, and others struggle with same-sex attraction. What a blessing that when we are resurrected, these will no longer be issues. 
• I’m thinking of a mom with a son with special needs, I thought: She is gold... and then I thought “the struggles of my boys are making me Gold.”
• In beating myself up over social mistakes I’ve made, here’s my scripture: “for thou also art under no condemnation, and thy heart is opened, and they tongue loosed.” D&C 23:3

💝 Lord’s tender mercies

 2/12 I kind of drive fast... efficiently. For some crazy reason, on the way home from Walmart today, I decided to drive calmly. In the spirit of prayer. As I came up our road, I noticed one of my good friends Christie Smith outside walking her dog. I asked her if I could join her for 15 minutes before Derek came home from school. I was able to have an amazing visit with her and ask her question I’ve been weighing on me. About our boys’ friends and how to both be inclusive but also intentional. She helped me to clarify my thoughts: diversify. Give them lots of opportunities with a variety of friends and situations. That the idea of one or two best friends isn’t what I want for myself and that’s not what I want for my boys either. The idea of being there for a lot of people, but being very selective on who you let in on that inner circle.