Kitty, the demandimal. -Dad
I’ve never been more scared in my whole entire life! -Mom, screaming from the back seat of a rollercoaster
Daniels are awesome things. James
I always keep a pick in my pocket. For times like this (Locked door at the hotel). Daniel
Skiing is so much more fun when you’re happy. Daniel
Andrew: too good.
I’d rather clean the toilet than make my own lunch. -Cooper
Kitty, your breath smells like dead rats. James
Deebot is Derek‘s favorite pet. -Mom
Kitty’s our little happy blanket. -Dad
I can’t run. I have frozen butter beer in my stomach. Daniel
Let’s be honest here. Have you ever read a Christmas story without crying? I mean, is it even possible to read a Christmas story without getting choked up? -Mom
It’s funny, but skiing with brothers makes me like them more. -James
Dad’s doing his sitting potty dance again. -James
Thinking mode is over. We're in doing mode now. -Mike
I’m grateful for my brothers. Because when we were out of town, I missed them. -James
Playing with Claire after she eats is like shaking a can of soda. -Robin
Robin: That’s beyond broken and there’s no way of fixing it.
Derek: maybe Dad can. Because dads can fix everything.
I have a talent for making people want things. -Max
Honey, I may not write you love cards all the time, but I do the dishes. -Mike
Mia’s pooping is like clockwork. Every 5 minutes she poops. It’s like setting an alarm: poop and repeat. -Mom
Mom, I would rather spend a week in Las Vegas than in Mexico. -James, who hates LV
Preschool is the best invention ever. Robin
Your sweater smells great. The smell I would worry more about is your breath. -Mom
I get my bargaining skills from granddad. -James
That was the best Star Wars movie I’ve ever seen. I’m glad I came. Daniel
Stop beeping at me Yolanda. Daniel
I could’ve found my shoes if I knew where they were. Daniel
Honey, if we owned that bright red car behind us, I would name it Rhonda. Rhonda the Honda. Mike
I should tell our bank account to decline all purchases from home goods. Mike
I swallowed my first tooth and now it talks to me. -Andrew
(During Morgan’s harp solo in Sacrament) I had to sit on my hands so I wouldn’t clap. -James
Dad: Mom didn’t share with everyone. Just her closest allies.
I’d rather stay in Las Vegas for a week than in Mexico. James
I’ve actually never licked my armpit. James
Andrew, can you lick your armpit? I can. Mom
Come here boys, let’s take a dam selfie. Mom
Mom, your naughty laugh sounds like mine. James
Tanner is actually lucky. He has broken a lot of bones. Andrew
My favorite food is chocolate anything. Andrew
Me giving Christmas away this year. We going to build houses. Derek
James, do you know how I learned how to get along with five-year-olds? Raising you. Dad
Daniel: I won’t. I don’t even pet the dogs in America.
Drinking water in Mexico? I say better safe than Sharty. -Robin
I Can’t read that sign. It’s in Mexican. Daniel
Oooh, a rabie dog. James
Hey Mom, can we do this again? Coming to make houses on Christmas. James
It might seem like we could do this better, but we want everyone to be involved. Jared
You will find that as you open your hearts to the people and to one another, you will have a great experience. #fhfmexico
what mom says in Mexico stays in Mexico. Dad
(In Mexico) In our scripture reading today, we learned that it is better to be ripped off than to rip someone off. -Dad
OK Tanner, if I beat you I get to beat you up. If you beat me I’ll give you a dollar. Andrew
Andrew, when I was your age. When I was naughty, mom would sit on me and I liked it. It felt really good. James
Mia, here are a hug (come). James
We skied down a blue run and it had lumps (moguls) on it. Andrew
“I was the only one raising my hand in class with answers. And James Galloway. He knew them all too.” -Daniel
I’m going to get a mochi ball and put chocolate syrup on it and give it to Derek. I call it Daniel surprise. Daniel
Derek: On you is my happy place.
Woulda, shoulda, coulda. I won’t believe it till I see it. Mom
Well, losing a tooth is better/ hurts less than getting punched by a brother. James
After the Mexico trip, I can survive any trip. -James
Robin is like my plant. Just give her water… And sun. And Europe. Mike
We’re selfie’n it. -Mike
Robin: I’m going to peek into the modern Art Museum (in Strasbourg).
Mike: I would. If I were not me.
“Honey, you’re cute! You’re like me at Disneyland. Mike (at keukenhoff gardens)
Dad is awesome at Disneyland. But at Disney World, he’s triple. James
Mike: your tie is backwards.
Derek: no, it’s front words.
James, warning. I can see your coccyx (pronounce cockicks like uncle Rico) -Daniel
Me want to go down the Muggles. Derek, while skiing
I know what it’s like to wait. I’m waiting for a gecko to shed again. Daniel
Crap actually doesn’t mean poop. It means trash. Daniel
We have a dollar store tooth fairy. James
Mom: You’re fearless buddy. (Skiing)
Andrew: Yep.
The airport ternimal. Daniel
It’s so cute how Mia picks James’s nose. Daniel
Honey, you’re my dream, cookie whore. Mike
Mom: do you remember being scared of the care Bears movie? (when he was two or three years old)
James’s new favorite word is buffet. Mom
I’m thankful for melatonin and that it helps us go to sleep and so we don’t turn nocturnal. Daniel
I’m finally laughing at one of mom‘s jokes. James
Mom! Flies are already coming outside. That means spring is getting close. Daniel
I’m working on a “beefy goal.” (BHAG) -James
“I feel good when I pass the sacrament. I think that’s the spirit. I also like to see people’s faces light up when I give them the Sacrament.” James
Boys are not domesticated animals. Mike
Mom, dinner actually smells good tonight. Daniel
The dollar store. Where all your dreams come true. James (who doesn’t like the dollar store)
Fact, waffles taste better when they’re Mickey shaped. -James
We’re not going to Extinct the instinct out of Whiskers. -Robin
Andrew: do cats lay eggs? Or do they have babies like dogs?
Mom: they have babies like dogs.
Andrew: are those the only ways to have babies?
Mom: how else would they have babies?
Andrew: maybe by barfing them out.
Fish sticks taste like Crapaflapanasty. -Daniel
It is really hard, but we can still do it. Derek (mixing the corn bread mixture)
Mike: you totally read my mind.
Robin: after you told me what to do.
Mike: isn’t that how mind-reading works?
Mia is to James, as Raptor is to Daniel, as Donut is to Andrew, as Derek is to Mom. Boys
Andrew is my lumberjack. Dad
I wish I was allergic to dogs. James
James: these are called push-ups.
Dad: those are called a floor seizure.
Daniel: those are called: you just got the corona virus
Man, How can I get this credit card to not work at home goods? - Mike, while reviewing the credit card statement
Children, we do not clip toenails at the dinner table. Mom
During the Coronavirus, we’re finally eating a real meal! -Daniel
School being cancelled for the boys is to mom as acid is to the mad hatter. Dad
Robin: well, Walmart has food. It feels like normal life. Why haven’t I been shopping here?
Mike: You know the world is upside down when Walmart feels normal. Dad, amidst COVID crazy shopping
Today I learned not to punch trees as hard as you can. Andrew (on COVID-19 lock down)
Derek laughs and giggles in his sleep. (Mom)
I never realized how much I need school. -James
I’m pretty sure home schooling wasn’t on my bucket list for the year. -Robin
I never knew homeschooling was a survival skill I would someday need. Mom
Unvisible- invisible: Derek
Meaniac- Andrew
I just have to keep reminding myself that this (covid quarantine) is fun. James
In some conversations - the phone dying is a tender mercy. -Bishop Brown
School house rock is part of mom’s home school regiment. Mom
When I’m skiing with Derek sometimes I feel like a mobile crane service. Mike
“I just wish I had the Force always.” -Andrew
Mexicali fragile listed XP alla Docia’s Daniel
A few perfect moments in the eye of the storm.
We’re going to Walmart for date day! Mike
I named my legs pain and limpy. -Andrew
Andrew, I’m going to tickle you more/ worse than tarred feathers. -Daniel, on Joseph Smith day
This is dumb. But I’m gonna try it. Andrew
When it's an opinion, that means it’s something good. And my opinion is right. Derek (age 5)
Man, British food is so good! (While eating bangers and mash) James
Just a spoonful of Whiskers helps the medicine go down. Derek
Even though downstairs was really loud, I felt really peaceful when dad gave me a blessing upstairs for the adjustment to homeschool. Since the blessing I feel different and that I can handle difficulties better. Daniel
I felt the spirit passing the Sacrament and giving my testimony at home. It felt good knowing that what I was doing is right. James
We shouldn’t be told what we should be doing. We should be receiving revelation on what we should do and who we could serve.
“Like when we lined up the Zoom call with my deacons quorum.” James
James: why are you making us go for a walk?
Mom: because you’re my puppies.
Mom's the best homeschool teacher around. Except. No one. Daniel
James: I want a dog
Mom: you do? Do you know a dog is just as threatening to Mia as a cat?
James: but the thing is, a cat's more threatening to us than a dog.
Mom: I think we’re going to have to try another red velvet cake recipe.
James: oh good, because that was my plan. In fact, I was thinking of making my own so I wouldn’t have to share it with anyone. Is that what you were thinking? Because I was.
When we do trains, tickle monster with dad, cuddle night, and lots of fings. That is my happy place. Derek
Mom: How are we going to help your little brothers with homeschool? More screens?
James: no, you need to be strict. Maybe have dad do it.
Mike has been growing out his beard for 2 1/2 weeks.
“Dad, when is your beard going to get cool?”
- James
Mom: Oh how cute. You guys are adorable.
Dad: No, we’re about to kill each other.
Child, please be/act human. Dad
Dad, when are you going to shave your beard? Daniel
Is it weird that I want to live in Epcot? Mike
“Sometimes outdo myself. Today’s one of those days.” -Mike
"Bandaid boy." Mike about Andrew
Well, I’m actually the third strongest in our family. So yeah. Andrew
I think this is the best Easter ever. Daniel
It’s pretty hard to look at Derek and not smile. Mom
You have brought so many smiles to my face. Mom to Derek
Mommy, when it is my birthday me just want treats. Derek
I don’t want a hyper dog because hyper dogs treat me like chew toys. Daniel
Mom, Will you please stop petting me.” -Derek
Hey mom, remember when James was a baby. And he ate dote (dirt)? Derek
After seeing photos of Koda:
“I think that dog is too cute to be true.” I need that one. Get it. -Andrew
This is the nicest dog I’ve ever seen. -James.
(Our first night with Koda) Let’s call him "Pillow." -Derek
Mom: your socks are so nasty (while in our freshly cleaned bed)
James: um. I just put them on. (Pause). Yesterday.
Pets are animals too. Dad,
I shall call you brave, brave sir Andrewlot. mom
On your birthday, in a swimming pool!? That’s my dream baptism. James
If them (Meier’s) not have samples, then I want a full cookie. Derek
[Feeding Koda] it’s like feeding a chipmunk. A big, furry white chipmunk. Mike
Daniel: I’m not eating this meatloaf!
Andrew: if I can eat it, you can eat it.
Daniel: you eat your boogers. So, no!
I just thought about something sad about this summer. There probably won’t be any demolition derby‘s. That’s like one of the best things about Summer. -James
Scott: I promise my boys don’t bite.
Andrew: I do!
Magical pixie dust is real. You just have to get a huge stack of cash, stick it in a blender, and sprinkle it all over your Disney vacation. -Mike
More [costa vida] Queso (kwesso) the better! James
Mom and Dad always kiss in the kitchen. And weirdly, I like it. -James
Mom: Derek, if you could be any animal what would it be?
Derek: none
Mom: would you be a puppy or a kitty?
Derek: both.
Mom: would you be a puppy cat or a kitty pup?
Derek: sometimes I would be a puppy and sometimes I would be a kitty.
Mom: you’re adorable
Derek: me is.
Well, it’s time to shave my Amish Kipstache. (Kip from napoleon dynamite)
Everyone gets stinky. Even unicorns. Daniel
nicknames for the dog:
Coco (Mom)
Pupstick (Andrew)
I am actually going to get all of my chores and school work done today. I said a goal for the day. Daniel
So pretty! Like a flower rain forest. Daniel (at the tulip festival)
My winter worn-soul has been sufficiently fed. -Mom, at TPTF
Taloopa, the TP turtle
I am a trophy. Andrew
That water (from the drinking fountain) is a yummy coronavirus. Derek
When I was your age I would’ve been writing sentences by now. James
I’ve decided that I want to put my efforts towards raising boys instead of chickens produce. Mom, the day we got rid of the chicken coop and garden boxes. Mom
I’m so glad that we got this type of dog. I knew mom would also like this kind of dog. I knew she also needed a crazy, energetic dog. James
Do you guys ever like to chew on the puppy, or am I the only one? Mom
Covid would be over in two weeks if people would just stop watching the news. Dad
I wish Star Wars was real. Andrew
Is it Daniel’s Day or Mother’s Day? Dad
Koda, that was your fault you know. James, tripping on Koda
Um, I like surprises. That I like. -Mike
My Mom ripped out my tooth this morning. -Andrew (telling his teacher, even though he asked me to)
I knew this to Dog (Koda) would shed too. But what, we just turn into gross people. James
“me six and me be more brave”
Mom: But you’re only 5.
“ but me is six because me bigger than Will and he is five”
Cleaning the counter was worth it because mom got a lot nicer. James
A digo (a Tiger) -Derek
Ode to lotion. You are heaven in a bottle. James
But, when he was brave, you just say “owe” and then you move on. Derek
I am going crazy because this crepe is so good. Daniel
We should get Andrew a shock collar that zaps him every time he picks a scab. James
Mom, when Andrew hurts my feelings, me is thirsty for orange juice. Derek
Mom: Daniel, you’re so good at treating Derek like he’s a human being. Thank you.
Daniel: that’s because Derek is a human being, he’s more than a human being. He’s my brother.
It’s just that, I don’t mind doing homework at school, because there’s nothing better to do. James
Are they making a house by that green Pee house (honey bucket). Andrew
Derek. Share. That’s how you lose friends. -Andrew
James: Mom, which (Lagoon) ride do you want to do first.
Mom: Do you want me to be nice or tell you the first thing that came to my mind?
James: the first thing
Mom: ride “the back of my eyelids”
Mom: how did you get the dog to go pee?
Mike: by demonstrating.
mom: you’re my cute little Spider-Man.
Derek: actually, me is big. Me is 5.5.
Adoon (Lagoon) is Disneyland. Derek
No complaining. You’re going to go on any ride we send you on. CrossFit guy at lagoon
I’m so starving I’m gonna start gnawing on the table. Daniel
Tanner‘s middle name is seriously schnitzel? Daniel
Daniel,I think you need to do something that makes you so scared that you poop your pants. Mom
... your mom is so classy. Mom
I have a brave mom. -James ( after we went on cannibal TWICE!)
The way to James’s heart is through food... and rollercoasters. -Mom
(After going on cannibal) I’m going to marry someone like Mom. -James
How was your man date? With yourself. Mom to James at Lagoon
Hangerber = hamburger (Derek)
When we bring Koda to Lagoon, and people ask about him I’m just going to tell people: If you over there and you break enough plates, you get one of these. Dad
Mom screams like a little, LITTLE girl on cannibal. James
After Mike both cracking an inappropriate “that’s what she said” joke and then apologizing, I said: “we never heard our parents talk like that. But then again, would our children rather have appropriate parents that don’t like each other, or totally inappropriate ones that love each other?” 🤷🏼♀️
Derek: Mom, can I play video games?
Mom (wearing her Sunday church clothes): what day is it?
Derek: definitely not Sunday.
Koda, your nickname is “Tinkle Trousers.” -James
Mom: You’re my little buddy.
Derek: Why did you say that? Call me big dus I’m your big buddy.
Andrew does not have the right map in his head. Derek
Your dog is like a little cotton ball with teeth. Julie Thompson
You’re about to squoosh the throw up out of me. Get off. Daniel, in the car
Mom: how did you know where to find the Lego piece?
Derek: duz, me have a map in my head.
Mom: close that blind please. The sun’s so bright.
James: dad said not to listen to you or do what you ask.
Mom, I’m your alpha. Derek
Everything today is a “get to do” -Mike, at the Ball family day
“Every day me want to go back to Grandma’s house.” -Derek
“We should do that again!” -James, about Ball family day
“You know those lap dogs. The ones that just sit on you? That’s what Little Friend is.” -James
Derek is my body guard. -James
I want to go to whistle wok again. Today. -Daniel
I hate chicken. Not just the animal chicken. The food chicken. Daniel
Mom: What do you want for your birthday?
Daniel: everything.
Mom, if me had zero friends, you would still be my friend. -Derek
Mom, do you know why I’m making pancakes today? It’s because I want to enjoy them before I get braces tomorrow. -James
We’re so grateful for each other. Mike, anniversary prayer
Mom: happy national pineapple day!
It’s Spiderman day every day. For me. Derek
Andrew, Show me your karate. To me. Not on me. Daniel
When me press the white part on my super shoes, I can fly. Derek
Can my birthday present be not going to swim for the whole entire month of July? -Daniel
(in the middle of the day) it sounds like nighttime outside. The baby crickets are chirping right now because they’re calling their mommies. Derek
While hopping: “Mom, this is how you do none foot walking.” Derek
Is it playing dead? -Cooper H, fishing
Did that lady just kill her dog? -boy at Highland Glen, puppy in training
When Andrew wasn’t giving a very nice apology, Derek said: “Dad, me want you to say sorry for Andrew to me.”
No. I is right and you is wrong. Derek
Mom, on you is my happy place. Derek
Koda is the best dog ever made. Andrew
When I grow up I’m going to eat dog. Daniel
(While tying knots with scouts) I tied this. With a “hard” knot. Andrew
actually, Climbing around in the car is easy for me, because I’m Spiderman. Derek
Everyone liked the trading post girl. James (review of scout camp)
I don’t ever get homesick. Until last week. Daniel
I didn’t get homesick but I am camp loll sick. James
Mom, I don’t think a cavalier would even survive you. James
Fighting means writing. Mom
Mom: James, will you play a game with me?
James: sure, is it called ‘load the dishwasher?”’
(In a house full of boys) sometimes I talk to myself, just to guarantee/ know that someone is listening to me. Mom
Mom: So, when did you guys realize that the clean up fairy is me?
Daniel: when you said that she would pick up everything and take it to DI.
I really don’t want to go on a hike anytime today. Derek
Yellowstone
Wow, it’s like the Caribbean. But acid. Dad
Just touch the water with your eyes. Like look at it. Daniel
If I could teleport, I would go to dohen’s (Cohen’s) house. -Derek
If I could teleport, I wouldn’t teleport to anywhere right now. Not until we got to Utah. Then I would go to Hawaii. -Daniel
Mom: Derek, do you want anything from McDonald’s?
Derek: If they have waffles.
I will not do hiking. I will just do dinner. Derek
I sort of want to get out of the car and feel those fuzzy antlers. Andrew
If it has “hidden” in the name, it means it’s long. James
Someone moved that rock because they saw a snake. Daniel
I’m happy that I was happy today. Daniel
What I say is that if a mosquito is going to eat me, than I’m going to eat it. Dad
Derek has magical happy dust squished inside of his scrumptious hands. Mom
Mom says that I am a ninja. That means I really am. Derek to Cohen
Derie (Derek) from Andrew
If you fart on me, I will tear you open and scratch you to the bone. Daniel
We have arms. That’s better than a chainsaw. Andrew
Florida:
Here we go! Mom, at airplane take off
But, when will we blast off? Derek
Daniel: You’re not aloud to bring weapons on The plane. But you can bring Karate on.
Mom: Maybe you better not get on the plane.
Beware. Andrew infested waters. Mom
Mom: where are your church shirts?
Daniel: in our room covering up the mermaids.
If it’s an option, then the answer is yes. Mike
Periwinkle is a funny word. Derek
Koda eats all the poop he can find. Daniel
When I grow up, I’m going to train gators. Daniel
When I grow up and live in Florida, I’m going to get a pool and make it swampy and put alligators in it. Daniel
I want a pet alligators. Daniel
My voice just cracked! Yay! James
James his first day of seventh grade
Mom were there a lot of cute girls?
James it was hard to tell with masks on
Mom do you have any crushes classes with your crush
James yes! Orchestra.
Mom is your math teacher cute?
James yes blush blush big smile.
It’s the worst when you sneeze into the clear masks. James
Mom: any cute girls?
Daniel: I don’t know. I was too busy focusing on not sneezing in my mask.
My Spider-Man has the force. Derek
Sort of like Andrew but exerts himself in public. James’s description of one of Andrew’s friends
I’m not smarter than you Andrew. - Daniel
Julianna (the gecko) isn’t a pin feather, James. Daniel
I think Koda is sleep barking. James
All you have to do is swim a fun hundred. James
(Yelling over the fence) Mom, I just found one of your earplugs in Koda’s poop. Daniel
Koda, do you know that dogs are disgusting? -Daniel
My machine sucks your brain and then you is Spiderman. Derek
Everything worthwhile is easier not to. -Mike
Gold purses weren’t meant to be used as weapons. -Mom
Matt’s the “everything whisperer” -James
I’m thankful we can live together. Derek, in his prayer tonight
I don’t want you touching my black widow. Daniel
Andrew: Mom, You sound like one of your sisters.
Robin: One of my sisters? How many sisters do I have?
Andrew: two.
Robin: really? Who?
Andrew: Aunt Tammy and Aunt Lizzie.
Can we go get some fries because it’s Friday? Derek
It’s Friday, so let’s go get some fries! Derek
I like cursive because it’s hard. Andrew
If I had a chunk of gold, I would pay for the new house, a yacht, and a limousine. Andrew
“I’m bonding with the house” James
I played my viola outside after school and someone gave me a quarter! James
Koda’s newest nickname is Moofie.
Derek pulled his shirt up a lot during soccer game. We might need to duct tape that thing to his pants. James
When I hurt you I am not using Karate. There’s not even a "whack" in Karate. Daniel
Mom: I’m so glad we have a dog.
Andrew: i’m so glad we have a Koda.
My favorite game is meow meow (on the trampoline with friends)” Derek
Why do all dogs look like they’re having seizures? Daniel
And mom, I loved my party. Derek (after his 6th birthday party— the one I totally forgot about until kids started showing up at our doorstep!)
Dad, I want lightning McQueen music. Derek
I just don’t wanna touch anything on Koda because of all the pee plants he rolls in. Daniel
Mom: James would you ever move your bedroom down to the basement?
James: only if I could guarantee that there wouldn’t be any bugs down there.
Hey mom, can I climb on top of the roof of the car? Andrew
I don’t want to be too tall. Like you, dad. James
I’m playing "tinkle tinkle little star" on the piano. Derek
I won’t move unless we have golf cart storage. Daniel
Your mother has the sense of humor of a seventh grade boy. Mom
Mom: you don’t have to go to the service project in the cold wind.
James: yes I do.
Mom: why?
James: “it’s because it’s something I believe by.”
Koda likes to explore his world through his teeth. Mom
I just know how it doos it. (Do for does) -Derek
You know those little pets that are like rodents and sometimes they’re orangeish? Daniel
I never knew I could love a dog so much! (James about Koda)
How about I can touch whiskers, but just with my eyeballs? Daniel
Derek woke up so affectionate this morning. He put his little arms around me, squished those yummy little cheeks up to mine, gave me a tight squeeze and said “mine, mine, mine.”
At least with the election, I’ll be happy the other guy didn’t win. Mike
Never under estimate my power of the martial arts. Daniel
It’s like I’m working on a car. Andrew, under Koda
Sometimes I wish things tasted like nothing. Because, I would prefer that over what I’m eating right now. James
Andrew: Daniel just kicked my butt.
Mom: You probably gave him a reason to.
Sometimes Derek has to be reminded of what he wants. Dad
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