James

James, you are tender, thoughtful, warm, caring, and sensitive. You are sweet with Blue and with baby Derek. You are happy, fun, and enthusiastic. You love to play with friends, play with and care for your brothers, and take care of me. You are a very thoughtful boy, and you like to make others happy. Often, I catch you writing love notes to your family- especially to me, playing patiently and tenderly with your brothers, working out a Lego or otherwise problem, 

You have an incredible attention span. You are a very gifted, talented, and blessed son of God. Even though you get frustrated with your brain and with yourself, you are very smart and have been given many gifts and take us. I love your smile. Your hugs. Your kind and thoughtful words of appreciation. 

There will be many things about life and yourself that frustrate you. Let those become your strengths, your "story," your depth and your ability to empathize and care for others. You are a caring, obedient, and happy person. Don't ever give up. Know that life is short. We are here to serve, and that is when we are happiest. Things don't matter. Things include the ability to play the piano, how well you can sing or dance, just how fast you can run, how funny your jokes are, how many people like you, how handsome or good-looking you are, the complexity of your latest Lego creation, grades, how advanced you are in scouting, how quick you are on the computer, how many girls like you, if or when you go on your mission, how big your callings are, how pretty or talented your wife is, how many trips to go on and where you go, how much money you have in your savings account, your score on the ACT or other tests, what college you go to... Essentially, as Pres. Benson said, these are all idols that we inappropriately set our hearts on. The true judge of character and our success, is how many hearts and lives we touch for good. How many hands and burdens we left. How many souls we save. 

Heartfelt prayer, undistracted and regular scripture study (at least 30 min a day), our smiles and kind words. The testimonies we share, the choices we make, the examples We sent, and the lives we influence. That's what matters and that's what it's all about. 

James, there are things that can be frustrating, but I'm okay with the fact that you pee your pants when you're so focused and undistracted on whatever it is you're working on. It's ok that you throw your 6 year old fits because it shows that you have fire, drive, ambition, hopes, dreams and life in you. I'm okay with the fact that you are timid trying new things, because it shows that you have high expectations for yourself and you want to do well. It's it's perfectly fine and normal that you get mad at and frustrated with yourself. We were sent to life to be tested, to serve, and to prove our worth enough to our heavenly father. He has blessed us with weaknesses and imperfections to prove ourselves. They want to be much to prove if we were all perfect beings. Life wouldn't be such a challenge for us if we were given everything we want or expect. You get frustrated that you can't do a front flip like Daniel, that you're not as comfortable in social situations as he is, that you stutter and get tongue tied, at your brain that doesn't always function perfectly like you'd like it to. Those are all challenges of a mortal body. They will not matter in eternity. They are opportunities to prove ourselves, to increase our capacity to learn, love, serve, and care for others. Please be patient with yourself. Daniel, your brothers, your friends, your families, and everyone else each have their own bag of things that they can't stand and/ or are frustrated with. You're not the only one that gets frustrated or has weaknesses. 

Having the spirit, an eternal perspective, clean hands, and a love for God and others are what it's all about. Read and study the Scriptures, for the strength of youth manual, in the words of the prophets. Know them, memorize them, internalize them, believe them, and share them. 

Stephen Robinson in his book believing Christ addresses the need to not only believe that Christ lives, but that he atoned for not only arsons but for weaknesses, shortcomings, difficulties. We were not sent or meant to do everything on her own but rather to head our lives over to him and let him make of us what he sees but what we want or see. He will make so much more out of us than friends, family, scout leaders, or even ourselves. 

No now and always that it is James that I love. It is not the service that you give, it is not any of your strengths or weaknesses, but rather it is that shining, bright, glorious, priceless spirit that I see when I look in your eyes, that I feel when I hug you in the morning, before and after school, when you feel sad or upset. That precious and perfect spirit I bask in as I sing your nighttime song, as I hold your hand when we're walking, and as I sit and play lego with you. It is the TRUE James that I love, adore, cherish, treasure, and blissfully enjoy. 

I love you so much Sweetheart! Love, Mommy