😂 Funny/ Tender

I am the master of pinfeatherOlogy. The study of pinfeathers. James 

I can’t tell if it’s my mask or the school that stinks. Mom

My mask smells like hamster cage. Mike

I love the scratching on the chalkboard noise. Daniel. 

I miss not living in a mansion. Daniel

Your house is so grand. It’s like an antique mansion. -Jaxon O

Derek’s nickname on the ski hill: Little Ripper

I hope the wife that I marry isn’t allergic to dogs. And that I can get a dog just like Koda. -Andrew 

I hope the wife I marry is allergic to dogs. Then if my kids want a dog they can’t get one. Daniel

Mom, just so you know, Christmas in Mexico that last year was the most magical Christmas ever. Daniel

That sheep. I would make a blanket with it. (The fur) -Andrew

Mickey Maca is Hawaii’s way to say happy Christmas to you! -Derek

I’m socially awkward. I’ll go do it/ knock on the door. James

James: Daniel, do you want to use a knife to open that box?

Andrew: No, he can use his “inner knife”.

I’m just going to keep kicking you until it stops hurting. Daniel

Come on socially awkward self, let’s go. James

Just give me a ladder and a safety helmet. I’ll put up the Christmas lights. James

Everyone’s barfed up a McDonald’s breakfast at some time. Dad

 I want a PDQ (poo) house special. Daniel

HomeGoods is always a good idea. Mom

I don’t want to fly. I want to glide. Daniel

I know I’m missing out. I really wanna live in Hawaii and get beaten with a beating stick. Daniel

At the ski hill: I just need to wait until I’m older so I can live in Hawaii or Florida. Daniel

What if your wife doesn’t like reptiles?

Uhhh. Well that’s not gonna work. 

Why can I not play in the snow with staples in my head? Derek

Andrew, I think you’re going to be stronger than dad when you grow up. Daniel

Karate moves are actually really helpful when building. Like an axe kick to build an igloo. Daniel 

I want to go to BYU Utah because I don’t really like potatoes so much So not BYU I.  - Daniel

I want to go to UVU because they have a good flying program. -James 

I didn’t actually crash. It’s just powder is so comfy. Daniel

Seeing that dog (Koda) in the car (after school) makes my day perfect. Andrew

The indoor playground (at chick filet) smells like feet. Daniel 

When Mike carried Andrew to his bed, mostly asleep, he said: “bang, bang. Bang, bang!”

We used Crayonola paint (crayons). James

“Little Ripper” Derek on the ski hill -Mike

You have to have a little bit of bribing to win (in the house game). Daniel  

Will you buckle please? Because I’m driving. Mom

So here’s a question, when I do hit a deer. Will we take it into the butcher or leave it for roadkill? Mom

Hmmm. What did I do tomorrow? Derek

You never need to ask me if I’m comfortable. Like, basically if I’m sleeping on my head, I’m comfortable. Andrew

I like grape nuts. They taste like my childhood. James

Daniel: has Andrew caught any lizards?

Mom: No, Andrew caught one under his hands but wasn’t sure what to do next, dad tried this morning, and Derek said that he caught one with his eyes!

Mom: James, would you rather have a buzz cut or spend 30 minutes in the butterfly biosphere? 

James: That depends. Is the buzz in the summer or the school year?

Mom: would you rather go to the tulip festival five times, without a golf cart, or to the butterfly biosphere for 30 minutes?

James: Tulip Festival. 

“I don’t love dogs, but I think I would like [to eat] dog” - Daniel

This is exactly what I need today (walking around the temple). Daniel

Nothing says awesome like the tulip festival mom

Mom, my nose still has boogers in it. Derek

Bugging my brothers to see their reaction is like a candy bar. You already know what it taste like, but you want it again anyway. Daniel

While camping. Moms the princess in this tent. Mom

Ball family camping slogan “mom is the princess here“ James

After spending a night in the tent with James, Andrew said “no I have earned my stink merit badge.” “ The only way I survived sleeping in the tent with James was to wear a mask the whole night.”

You have to understand that we don’t own the land, we are stewards over the land. RD Banks

If HF wanted this land to be a temple, He would have preserved it for that purpose. Ama

And why I want to go to the tulip festival is because it’s so peaceful. Derek

My childhood was the best thing in the world. Daniel

My shoes is not fitting anymore. Because I growed up. Derek

“Do you know that when your parents were really, really little that megalodon‘s were actually still alive?” -William

Mom: if you take any quarters, I won’t buy you a treat. 

Daniel: that’s OK James, you’ll make so much more than mom would spend!

I scoreded a goal! Derek

Dad. Can I fix your collar?

Derek. No. It’s pofect right now. 

Daniel: I don’t like you sitting by me. Your breath stinks. 

James: I don’t like you sitting that close to me either/ your attitude. Your attitude stinks!

James’s hair. It’s like a chicken swallowed a grenade. Dad

Mom: you can never be too careful 

You can always be too careful. Andrew

That looks so fun-ly dangerous! Andrew

Mom is going. Oh I think she is bc of tadpoles. Daniel 

Mom: did you feel our prayers [at Scout camp]?

James: yes! And o prayed for you too

Having an ax throwing a room upstairs would push it. I can only take the “we have four boys excuse so far” Before peopleBefore people actually think I’m just a really irresponsible parent. I can only use the “we have four boys”excuse so far before people just say that we’re irresponsible parents. 

(At lagoon, in line for a rollercoaster) don’t worry, if you throw up your dinner, we’ll buy you some more on the way home. -Mike

James: I’m touching you with my lookers. 

Daniel: No you’re not. You’re touching me with your air.

Well,Well, I guess I would chew on bats if I had a rabies shots. -Andrew

Koda, stop chewing on your drumstick (foot). -Andrew

I have found out that the girls play the best games at recess. -Andrew

Only service dogs are allowed. Well, Koda is a circus dog, so that should count. -Andrew

I named one of Ama‘s cat “knife.“ Andrew

Exes are meant for shopping center.Exes are meant for shopping center.Axes are meant for chopping things. Tomahawks are made for throwing. Andrew

Dad: Mom and dad are going on a lunch date to the temple. 

Andrew: Am I the only one that thinks you’re lucky?

Mom’s love language is bad puns. Dad

Do I need to call the cops on the cops? Andrew

This isn’t a dog. This is a robotic stuffed animal. We won him at the circus. Mike

While talking about insurance, Mike told the boys how your insurance goes down if you're a safe driver. Andrew asked “I wonder how much money mom has to pay!”

Mountains are a cool thing when you think about it. James

Maybe there’s a gif for a frowning poop. Mike

Mom look, I made you a unicorn (out of magtiles). Derek

On fast Sunday. I don’t know if I’m carsick or if I’m starving. Andrew

Camping is our boys’ love language. Robin

Their mom (Sister Neal, after laser tag) is a ninja too. Daniel

If bats didn’t have rabies, I would own one. -James

These bugs aren’t eating us. They’re just saying “good morning.” - Dad

(In palisade & before school started) I just saw a school bus full of kids. Luckys! Daniel

The chocolate on theThe chocolate on the covered almonds make my eyes water. James

Derek’s like a stuffed animal. Daniel

Mom, on your lap is this baby penguin’s (my) favorite place. Derek

Balls are happiest when Serving others. And scouting. -Andrew

(While mad at me) Mom, you didn’t take a long enough nap. -Andrew

I said right now I like the taste of slightly expired milk. Because then it doesn’t really taste like milk. James

I feel purposeful when Andrew or Derek want me to help them with something. -Daniel

Mom this (breakfast burrito) is as good as McDonald’s! Derek

I get taller every time we go to a tropical place. Daniel

(While talking about eating too much ice cream) Mom, this is going to make your stomach sick just by hearing it… but I once ate a whole entire plateful of ice cream. -Daniel

Today I learned not to open doors with my head. Ow. -James

Is there a power button for Koda? -James

Mom: Andrew, you’re going to make some girl so happy. 

Andrew: some girl’s going to make me so happy. 

They’re targeting me. Dad at insanity point 

That smell makes me want to wash my hands. Daniel at insanity point

As half the family drives away in the BMW “ha ha, we get Yolanda. Daniel

I love Halloween because I see a bunch of orange. Derek

Mom: anyone want to go up the canyon to see the leaves?

Andrew: I will. I don’t want to but I will if you want to. 

I’d rather get the vaccination again than go talk to someone at their door. James

Dad, (in stretchy pants) you should get some normal pants on soon. James

James, you probably have the world record on the biggest 13 year old foot (size). -Daniel

My motto is “the prettier the girl, the more you love.” Andrew

I’m going to stay hydrated by drinking the air. James, in Orlando

We filled four rings on our watches today. The fourth is the magic ring. James

Splash Mountain is my favorite ride in my life.… But slinky dog is my favorite, favorite, favorite ride of my life. Derek

I’m a Mickey bar-ivore. Daniel

Mike: Derek, do you want to go on Tower of Terror?

Derek: No. me hate. That wide. 

Andrew: mom, what does Ripstick rhyme with?

Mom: dipstick

Andrew: no. Lipstick. 

No onw can stop the Andrew-gizer bunny. -mom

Derek, you need to talk to mom nicer. You’re talking to her like you would Koda if he just put your foot off. Daniel

Hawaii is a big city.” -Derek, Driving through Waikiki

“Pigeons in Waikiki are like rats with wings.” -Mike

Danny mango

“Hawaii looks like a toddler got a hold of a green marker.” -James

“I would drink the ocean if it was just normal water.” -Derek

“It wasn’t a shark cage, it was a human zoo.” -Dad

Derek:(Laughing) I won. (Staring contest)

Daniel: that’s because you spit in my eye!

“Grandmas are honey badgers.” -Mom

“Alarm clocks would work on me if they shot forks, nerf bullets, and donuts.” -Andrew

“Well, It is very smart to starve your kids. That way if you want them to do somethings all you have to say is “well, if you want some food…” -Andrew

“It is ‘moking wet.” -Derek

“Let’s fight to the death (for ice cream). Because I’m gonna win.” -Daniel

Nimmow = minnow Daniel

Mom, can I hold a parakeet? -Derek, at the parrots

(Afterwards) Me no want to hold one. Them hurt. -Derek

…

I didn’t pull my tooth out. I ate it out. -Derek

James: why don’t the Lamms move to Utah?

Mom: they really like the tropics.

James: They could move to Orem.

Wow, I wonder how much mom pays for car insurance. Andrew

Robin: I have a poncho in the car. 

Mike: I have waterproof skin. 

Mom, you know how I put things in my pocket? Well, today I found a roll in my pocket and I ate part of it. James, on thanksgiving day 

When you’re tired, all you have to do is slap your cheek… Hard. Andrew

James: I was up until 4 o’clock last night playing chess with myself. 

Dad: who won?

James: me. 

Mom: Are you a chick magnet, James?

James: No. Well, maybe.