"It's Time"

I can see that after all is said and done, there will come a week, a day, a moment when the spirit speaks to me and lets me know that unfortunately, the time has come. The time has come for me to leave. To leave my family in the care and the trust of Heavenly Father and in the care of those He send to them. I am beginning to see the wisdom in this timing.

Two nights ago, during a presidency meeting, Lucy shared the continuation of their family's shocking news of a 35 year-old sister with terminal cancer. Lucky-- in my mind-- for her however, is that her youngest is 6-- not her oldest. Her oldest is 12. I mean, c'mon, she's half-raised these kids! Lucky duck... and her kids know her. They'll remember her.

But, is that really so lucky? In some ways Derek is the luckiest. Having no memories of his Mother and being raised by a new, and some-what adjusted one. It's the other boys, the ones who have some memories of me and who have a mild (especially James) idea of what's going on that this will be so hard on. So really? Who am I thinking of here? There are many benefits of a mommy dying when her children are young as opposed to teenagers who really aren't up for that kind of change.

So, to this, and without being or coming across as a martyr, I feel a tad bit like the pre-princess in "The Slipper and the Rose" in the song "Tell Him (Anything But Not That I Love Him). Whatever helps to ease the pain, to wipe away the tears, to make things ok... what I want is not the timing that I so desperately want, but what is best for Mike and the kids. They're going to need both sets of grandparents who are healthy, strong, and able to step in. With the exception of a 7 1/2 year old James, I'd rather the boys be a little bit unaware of the dates Mike goes on as he selects a daughter of God to fill in and help out. It's probably best for the change to happen when they are still so young and so close to the veil and they don't entirely "get" the significance of their loss.

So, yeah, I'm seeing some wisdom in this awful and dreadful timing. It appears to me that the family will bounce back, adjust, and move forward right now more than in five or ten years which I have so desperately prayed for. It's not just me I can think about here. And it's not just them. But rather, it's the big, full, complete picture. And as we know, and as President Uchdorf promised, every princess, in the end, gets her happy ending. That thankfully and despite the anquish and heartbreak felt during the song "tell him" and that we will all experience this upcoming year-- it is but for just a moment-- and then what? The Happy ending. The marriage. The bliss. The joy. The smiles.

It's not just in the movies that things are made right. I promise that in the end of this "act" (see I think President Packer's analogy to life as a 3 part play and we only know the 2nd act), all things are made right, and climax or tragedy will have seemed to be but a very brief moment that contributed to the making of a quality story.
There are happy and joyous time to follow, but it's not until the ending when ALL of the sad tears are gone and everything is made right.