Instructions

Here's my orders-- call it "Mommy's Minute" if you must :)

- Mike, you already know this, but you're going to have to remarry. Heavenly Father and I will hand select and send you someone. You'll love her. You'll marry her in the temple. It'll be up to you as to whether or not are sealed to her as well. Of course, you know me and what I think about that prospect. We all know I don't share so well and I sure as hell hope she's already sealed to the love of her life and that you both look to the day with hope and gladness at the prospect of returning to your perspective spouses and original loves of your life. But, Mike. I trust you. I trust your judgement a heck of a lot more than I trust my own. Everything will work itself out in the hereafter. So, do what is best for everyone. Not me.

- Counseling. You all need it. You and James especially. So, don't fight it. I will haunt you if you don't seek help. James is really going to have a hard time with this. Get him help. Talk to him. Until you start dating, date him. Take him out. He needs that 1:1 connection and communication. You know me. HASH IT OUT! More than you're used to. Get my mom involved to the extent you feel is right. Don't skirt around the issues. Our boys just lost their world. My biggest fear growing up was that my mom would die. Our boys don't know it, but their biggest fear just happened. I can't think of a worse thing to happen to our children to lose me, so please, don't downplay that. Talk about it. Keep me very much alive in their hearts, minds, memories, and lives. They understand a lot more than we realize. My funeral is for you four and you four only. Everyone else is a bystander. They are front and center so all attention on them. Please, get help. Seek priesthood blessings-- lots of them. Give James a blessing once a week if he needs it. And be patient with him. He's like me. He doesn't know how to properly express, or even understand his emotions and he will revert. He will have meltdowns like we've seldom seen. Be patient. His world just fell apart from under him. This is NOT what he had bargained for and it's not the life he would choose. It's what he's been dealt, and that sucks. And he knows it. Watch family videos, make slide shows, share memories. Have him tell you memories-- cuz he's going to forget them.